Further down the downward spiral

Remember that episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force in I think...the second season(?), where the Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future shows up to remind Carl of his Christmas he had as a child when he had to eat carpet and work in the mines? You don't? Well luckily they have it on youtube!

 
Anyways, what's that clip got to do with anything? Vaguely much in terms of what's on my mind. Past few days I've been on the verge of a weird mental breakdown.

You see, I've been watching ALOT of The Wire. An HBO show that's really just like Game of Thrones; it's an hour long, alot of slang and dialogue that takes repeat viewing's to understand what they're saying, way too many characters each with their own subplots and characteristics that the show throws at you and it takes place in a magical land you'd never want to visit (Baltimore!). Only difference is alot more black people. ALOT. Also replace dragon's with double barreled shotgun and really you got Game of Thrones. Most importantly, the show is pretty depressing like Game of Thrones, but The Wire somehow feels MORE depressing because of it being relatable. So past few days my life has been filled with strippers getting rolled into a rug over OD'ing n coke, people trying to put their lives back together from drug addiction and living shit lives and people unable to get out of the game. It's alot for a show and it moves fast and somehow this has spiraled me into having a panic attack on Saturday.

On Saturday, after watching a ton of The Wire I started flipping out. Like pacing back and forth for two hours or so rambling on and on. About what pray tell? The dumbest, nerdiest shit possible of course! I Have Dragoncon coming in four months and somehow four months and watching a show about abunch of cops trying to wire tap pay phones equals me freaking out over finishing my damn costume. My costume in itself I guess show's how my mind works for better or worse, which is finishing my costume of the damn donut cop from Wreck it Ralph. I Don't know if I should feel like an asshole about that or not. Because I got nothing against cops, hell I know a cop! I'm friend's with one and he's on my XBox and everything and he told me about how he to drag a dead body out of a river once.

Besides the weird moral implication of I guess inner monologue cop racism (I think?), there's also the fact that since I'm waiting to see what my friend does for materials, there's not much I can do. I've basically made an outline and everything, but I don't want us to look fashionably out of place so I'm waiting on him now and my God, this has been stabbing at my brain all week now. Ever since that Saturday I have the dumbest dreams ever and I say dumb because "cosplay anxiety dreams" sound stupid no matter what the context. That and I can't just go to my friend's and ask them if this ever happened to them because what the hell kinda term is "cosplay anxiety dreams"? Hell I remember the night after I had that weird sudden panic attack and went to sleep I dreamt I had a job interview in Seattle for some reason and in this dream I realized "hey! Wait a minute! This is a dream! I Got to wake up and work on my donut costume!" From there the dream turned into me running and trying to wake up, until I finally did and saw it was 7AM and wondered what the fuck am I panicing over. Since than I've had those same kinda dreams and it's driving me insane!

Also I suck at writing conclusions when they're about me so I'll just say what me and my friend's always say. Cosplay is hard!