Bill Pardy...Cosplay Personal Assistant

Man, today was a nerdy day. Free Comic Book day and Starfest. One of them was crammed with more people than last year, the other...um, well, the other shouldn't have taken a dump in the sink and timed it's event to go against Free Comic Book Day. First off Free Comic Book Day was cool, it let me continue bitching about how much I hated Amazing Spider-man 2 and gave me weird uncomfortable emotional feelings. Case in point, other people cosplaying outside of cons when I'm not wearing a costume or with someone wearing one triggers a weird fear in me I notice. Like "I should've brought a costume or better yet these people may know and I'm not wearing one. Oh God! Why did I not bring a costume?! *gasps* *wheeze* Holy Shit! They're going to judge me! OH GOD WHY DIDN'T I BRING ANYTHING?!?!"

Anyways, Starfest. Where I didn't bring a costume, but for some reason felt it upon myself to play cosplay P.A. for my friend and was excited for it. Fuck, my life got super sad didn't it? Besides that for big cumbersome costumes I feel it kinda is necessary to be there for friend's because it helps them and blah blah blah, but hey it's also great for people watching and people watching while doing that is weirdly awesome. Now my friend was Pyramid Head, meaning his peripheral vision was jack and shit outside of seeing things to the side. I Knew that, he knows that, other people know that; but those other people don't know that I'm stuck behind him as a P.A. and I can hear and see everything they do and it's...pretty wicked awesome.

For one: the insanity workout works and my friend goddamn attested to it in stride by going as Pyramid Head without a shirt on. How else did it work? Because both genders took notice and complimented or did double takes, some made it apparent to him, while alot did it from a distance thinking he wouldn't notice. Guess what? I DID THOUGH! I'd be bored as fuck if my ears didn't perk up or my eyes didn't do the equivalent of perking as well (bleeding profusely from staring?) everytime someone made a move or comment without me noting it. So females AND males doing double takes and looking and very shyly asking for a picture. I SAW YOU! Guys complimenting on my friend being shredded despite his back not really being super defined (from my perspective, but whatever). I HEARD YOU! Drunk girl with the big titties getting infront of me to get behind my friend and making motions of wanting to feel him up while giggling as your boyfriend or friendzone friend or whatever looked on slightly demasculated. I DEFINETELY SAW AND HEARD YOU AND WAS WATCHING AND WAITING TO SEE WHERE YOU GROPE! (the shoulders by the way)

Besides that, the cosplay itself meaning the stuff that wasn't defined by a fleshy spongy human body was good too. The sword was obnoxiously huge to the point where it didn't need to be that huge and the head was defined and didn't sacrifice the looks with limited eyesight. So with that said, I get to watch the people sippin on Haterade too. Little kids walking past my friend while under their breath talking shit as if you think you may get into a fight with him because little kids fear things they don't understand? I HEARD YOU! I HEARD EVERY WORD! Same with people making straight up angered looks and each and everytime like clockwork looking and making a face. I SAW YOU TOO! PUT YOU ON GODDAMN GAME! I GOT NOTHING ELSE TO DO BESIDES LOOK AROUND AND BE AWARE LIKE UATU THE WATCHER! EXCEPT I'M NOT ON THE MOON AND I AIN'T WEARING A TOGA AND I ONLY DON'T INTERFERE BECAUSE I KNOW YOU GOTTA STEP UP COSPLAY GAME NOW OR WHATEVER!

So cosplay P.A. is fun. Only downfall is missing the chance to give out a card to advertise my friend's shameless whoring of himself on Facebook. Not as fun as cosplaying itself, but it's a weird new way of people watch or being a spy with people barely knowing. Outside of that the con was basically a dead zone with really not much to do besides wandering back and forth and people watch and really question some choices in costuming. Oh and hanging out with friends and all the basic stuff though it did remind me I know alot of cosplay people, but if you were to ask me to remember their names...I'd have an easier time vomiting out blood with a good majority of them.

Also I was reminded today that eventhough I listen to a shit ton of music and try and keep an open mind, it seems I'll always be a metal head at heart. It's like a secret fraternity where if you wear the shirt, hoodie or whatever apparel of a metal band it's like seeing a friend and we all know each other. Case in point, wearing a Mastodon hoodie (when it was balls out too hot to wear a hoodie) and getting props from random strangers. Pretty cool, you don't get that when you rep a rapper or easy listening music.