Dear Diary,

As we grow older we start to notice different things in the world. For one thing we start to become overall more and more cynical assholes. I Am no exception to this "growth" as I haven't listened to a public radio station on my own free will in years. That or I start to see many movies and shows as just getting stale and is no different from a pimp willing to let someone do whatever they want to their ho for the right price. The things we use to love no longer interests us as much. Sure, cars are still awesome, but goddammit I care about shit like fuel efficiency more then anything else now. Then things slowly start to spiral, spiral in ways we never thought possible, the time when we question at our own age, are we turning into goddamn hipsters?

Now I think this is bound to happen to everyone since as we grow cynical and old, the one thing we start to hate is young people. For me predominantly it's people who shop at Hot Topic. Now my beef here is I grew up in the 90's which gave us such jewel treasures as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Power Rangers and whatever else we can get for cheap from Asian studios. So it always just drives me insane when people under 18 go into the stores and buy merchandise from cartoons that they weren't even around for when it aired. Then those words are uttered, those words that you can rephrase all you want, but you know it so. "I Like Ninja Turtles/Power Rangers BEFORE it was cool."

Hipster.

I Have turned into a goddamn hipster or so I think. The immediate next reaction is after you said it you begin to realize it and you don't know whether to deny or accept that is this the age where you look at the world as literally you vs. the mainstream. Now you can deny all you goddamn want, but it's true because it feels like being a cynical prick is the way to go and you can't change it. Suddenly you realize everything you hate that everyone else loves. You fucking hate shows with laugh tracks. Shows like Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother become the enemy of lesser rated shows like Community or Parks and Rec. That and you slowly begin to hate the people who defend and love those shows.

BUT IT DOESN'T END THERE! Suddenly you begin to realize as you're growing up you need clothes that say or define who you are. Black shirts are so passe and you realize it doesn't hurt to add color to the wardrobe. Suddenly you go for ironic shirts that give some stupid meaningless statement on who you are. "This shirt has humorous text and a picture because I want people to know I am witty." Majority of the shirts I buy are really now just that. The others are hoodies and hoodies and shirts of bands I've seen live simply so I can say I was there as if I look for the underground that too questions if anyone is against the conformity of buying shirts from Hot Topic or Target for a clearance price and pretending like they've been a nerd all their life.

I Feel I have become all these things and then some. No wait, I am these things. Though I don't know. Have I become full hipster? The weird straw suddenly become the crushing blow to my metaphorical camel when I realized scarves are fantastic accessories along with wristbands. WHAT HAS GODDAMN HAPPENED?! WHAT WAS IT THAT MADE ME LOOK BACK AT MY YOUTH AND SAY TO MYSELF "Goddamn, who needs this many black shirts?!" Is this a sign I am turning hipster? Craving attention?! Possible 20's life crisis? I DON'T KNOW! OR MAYBE I'M TRYING TO MAKE A DRINKING GAME FOR EVERYTIME I'VE SAID HIPSTER YOU'RE TAKING A SHOT *spoiler alert: you're dead or passed out or soon will be*

Though there is hope or I think there is. As much as I love bands like Metric and slowly growing into other bands that aren't Metal or Aggrotech, I realize I can admit I like different bands and not do it ironically. Maybe I have become some kinda nerd-hipster hybrid (a nipster perhaps) that sees the growing age of information and technology as a means to find new ways to entertain myself. That I can have a middle ground and the fact I don't drink, therefore cutting out the possibility of Pabst Blue Ribbon ever going down my lungs means I have not become like them. Nor do I suck the dick of Apple, though they do make good products and I do have a few iPods an-NO! NO GODDAMMIT! I AM BETTER THEN THIS!

To summarize this never ending escalating entry of pointless mind numbing madness, I will finish with this. I Was nerd for far too long and I'll be damned if I can't be a cynical assholes over pretending they are now because of what a store or movies tell them. Go me and people who think this way though in a slightly more well constructed paragraphs or whatever.

-I'm Bill Pardy